(1st Anniversary!)
Today is a bittersweet day. The bad first, I guess. I got my period this morning. Cycle number one is over. On to cycle number two. I’m really not too upset. Certainly it’ll take more than one attempt, right? Bummer that it came on our anniversary though. This cycle was only 29 days long. Funny, but this was probably a good cycle to try because I had a short for me/ normal cycle length. My last 4 or 5 cycles have been 39 to 45 days. I probably ovulated this month.
The good stuff: My husband caved in and decided to give a hint to his mother that we are trying to have a baby now. He was chatting with her and then I came on to explain in more detail. These are the highlights:
Waynell says:
Hey are the Honeymooners back in circulation
Darrell says:
Well hasn’t that show been on Nick at Nite for a while?
Waynell says:
HaHaHa, I meant you 2 silly
Darrell says:
oh, har har. I know. We’ve been here…We went to eat at Olive Garden with Coll and Donna and their 2.5 month old baby last nite. We hadn’t seen them since the wedding and also wanted to go to Olive garden since that’s where we were the night before the wedding at the Rehearsal dinner.
Waynell says:
Did you get our card
Darrell says:
Oh yes, thank you,thank you,thank you,thank you. We will use that very soon I’m sure. Very kind of you.
Waynell says:
What will you buy?
Darrell says:
Well, I got new shoes (thanks to you) and I got a haircut yesterday, so i don’t know what else in the world I need.
Darrell says:
Maybe I’ll buy a big pair of waterguns so that me and jen or me and anthony or anthony and jen or whoever can have a watergun fight the next time we come up. Or maybe I’ll buy on of those robot reacher things so that I can pick up snakes from a distance when they are in “our” little house down there. I don’t know! hehe.
Darrell says:
We got Jen’s brother’s wedding invite. It was home made but very informal (kind of like them). And they made a major social faux pas – they put the card from the store they registered at in the invite. Oooohh….
Waynell says:
Hey, did they have a mother to teach them?
Darrell says:
nope
Waynell says:
Will your children have a grandmother to teach them?
Darrell says:
I hope.
Darrell says:
Well, we have been married a year and she hasn’t divorced me yet, so maybe we’ll just see what happens. Acceptable?
Waynell says:
Wait, I’m lost
Darrell says:
Jen’s laughing…
(pause)
Darrell says:
Did I knock you off your chair?
(pause)
Waynell says:
are you there
Darrell says:
yep
Waynell says:
Ok why did you say that I’m confused
Darrell says:
back up…
Waynell says:
I dont understand why you said that. I was talking about her mother
Darrell says:
oh, i thought you meant you…
Waynell says:
But, but Im still confused. Yes I hope you will have me, but why did you say she hadnt divorced you yet
Darrell says:
I was just kidding. I.e She has put up with me for a full year, not run me off, not had any big fights, all that.
Waynell says:
whatever, I’m sorry they did that but they dont know any better and they are young
Darrell says:
Jen is kicking me off the chatter…for a minute. I’ll be right back Here she is.
Jen says:
Hey, you just missed a very BIG hint back there…
Waynell says:
ok, happy anniversary Jen, can you believe the time has gone so fast. What hint
Jen says:
Darrell wrote “Well, we have been married a year… so maybe we’ll just SEE WHAT HAPPENS. Acceptable?” Hint: Think grandchild…..
Waynell says:
OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Waynell says:
I see now. You know I’m kinda slow
Waynell says:
Yes, I got that after I went all the way back and read that again, is there hope?
Jen says:
What do you mean is there hope? As in can I have kids?
Waynell says:
No I mean are you trying and when, we’re gettin old, Gene said
Jen says:
To spell it out clearly, now that a year has passed, we ARE trying. Darrell and I agree it is a good time now. Big news, huh?!?
Waynell says:
Almost tears
Jen says:
I’m so excited, I’ve been waiting for him to come around… you are making me cry now.
Waynell says:
It’s ok, booooo hooooo
Jen says:
Pat, pat, hug
Waynell says:
I’m excited too, couldn’t hardly tell Gene.
Jen says:
What does he say?
Waynell says:
Thanks, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for ya’ll. He said hurry up, he needs an excuse to come to SA more often.
Jen says:
OK. I hope it doesn’t take too long. You never know, do you?
Waynell says:
What a wonderful surprise, no we never know.
Jen says:
Weren’t sure whether or not to tell you before I was pregnant, but it was Darrell that caved in first!!!
Jen says:
At least you can be hoping along with us now.
Waynell says:
HaHa, thats funny, I just sent Dobie an email and said well its been a year now and I thought I’d have a GRANDbaby by now but Darrell fooled me.
Jen says:
Darrell fooled you how?
Waynell says:
well I thought in 9 month we’d have one and he kept lagging or something.
Waynell says:
You know, you couldn’t do it by yourself
Waynell says:
Yes, I will be hoping with you, but don’t name her hope, promise
Jen says:
Oh, no, we were trying NOT to have one. Darrell definitely wasn’t ready and our money situation (school loans and stuff) isn’t very good. But we just can’t wait anymore!!!!!!!
Jen says:
No, no Hope for a name. Grin. We have some ideas for names, but we’ll save that for later.
Waynell says:
Well I knew that, so go for it.
Jen says:
I must say that I grin in the middle of nothing for no reason now.
Jen says:
I’ll get Darrell back for you. Hold on…
Waynell says:
Thats wonderful that you grin for a reason now
Jen says:
I’m happy. See you later.
Waynell says:
bye
Darrell says:
She called me back in…
Waynell says:
CONGRATULATIONS
Darrell says:
huh???
Waynell says:
Early
Darrell says:
We are going to go to eat at Alamo Cafe in a while to celebrate our anniversary.
Waynell says:
Oh, have fun and Congratulations on your Anniversary
Waynell says:
bye now
Darrell says:
Love you. C Ya later.
I must say that I really enjoyed telling her. It’s great that I can talk to her about this now. I CAN”T WAIT to present her with a grandbaby!!!!!
We went out to eat at the Olive Garden with some friends of ours, Coll and Donna, who have a 2 1/2 month old baby girl named Bailey. It was neat because the night before our wedding we were at the Olive Garden for our Rehearsal Dinner. Their baby was adorable. She was so light and her fingers were SO TINY! I wanted to take her home with me!!! Darrell held her for awhile and I could tell he just melted. He is more relaxed about the “baby thing” now. I guess that’s why he decided to give his mom a hint today.

We decided to go ahead and try for a baby two weeks ago (night of 7th/ morning of 8th). Two events played a part in this decision: the emotional mess of Uncle John’s funeral followed by seeing the movie Family Man. Uncle John’s funeral was my first funeral experience. I am tearing up now as I think of it. I wasn’t particularly close to him but it was unnerving and upsetting to see people I am close to so upset. MaeMae and BoBo looked SO old. But the golden moment for us came during the minister’s sermon. He preached about how we should not wait until we are 65 to do what we want in life— because we may not make it. I can barely describe what he spoke of, but that was the gist of it. Well, at the same moment Darrell and I looked at each other and we knew we were both thinking the same thing. Why are we waiting for the perfect time to have a baby? There is no such thing as a perfect time.
Later, we talked about how we are fortunate to still have all our parents alive. But we know we won’t have them forever. I said that I would very much like to have all of them at least meet our baby. It means a lot to me that my father’s father held and loved me as a baby—even though I never knew him.
A day or two after the funeral we saw Family Man. Basically, a movie about a man who chose his career over a family and how he got the opportunity to see what he missed. Very emotional. That sent us, of course, into an emotional evening of discussing children. Darrell got very upset so I tapered off the conversation. He was babbling about wanting a baby but how he was so scared to. I remember him telling me he wanted to have a baby but he was just SO SCARED. So, with my heart hurting terribly, I told him it wasn’t the right time for us then. I had a brief thought of the months and years I anticipated waiting for him to work through this. I basically put him to bed after that, he was too upset to talk rationally.
But surprise, surprise—the next day at lunch Darrell very calmly said that he was serious about what he had said the night before. He thought it was time to try for a baby. I was a bit shocked by his calmness and the fact that he brought the subject up himself (never happens!). So, there I had it. A calm, serious response to my yearning. Why wasn’t I jumping for joy???
I never did jump for joy. I knew Darrell’s response was largely in part to his wanting to keep me happy. I was also a bit shocked that now is the time. A big step. But, over the next several days I would find myself suddenly with a huge grin on my face. And just as often I have second thoughts. Is it REALLY the right time?
My fears fall into 4 categories.
1. Will Darrell like being a father/ love the baby/ leave me if he doesn’t, etc.?
2. Will I give birth to a happy, healthy child? What if the baby is not formed right? Will I be a good mom?
3. What about all the money they cost? Can I REALLY stay at home? If I have to work, how will I manage?
4. A child requires you to be there and be responsible for 100% of the time for at least 20 years. EVERY DAY. Am I up to it?
I’m sure these are common fears but they are so REAL right now. A very serious time.
But when it comes down to it, we don’t do anything to protect a pregnancy from occurring. So I guess we really are giving it a good shot. But, I feel a little guilty!!
I must say that I REALLY look forward to telling people that I am pregnant. I daydream up different, creative ways to let everyone know. I look forward to the attention I will receive.

[Jan 2007- I am integrating my old Iparenting diaries into my blog. My actual first “blog” entry starts here.]
Hi! Welcome to my Preconception Web-diary!
My name is Jen and my husband of just about 1 year (our first anniversary is April 29, 2001!) is Darrell. We are both in our mid- twenties. I am a nanny for one 11 month old baby named Sam. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education. Darrell is a Network Administrator for Our Lady of the Lake University and has 4 more classes to go for his BS in Computer Information Systems. He also is an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer). We live in an apartment in San Antonio, Texas. One day we hope to have a house with a nice backyard for our children to play in.
Here is a picture of us on our honeymoon almost a year ago. We went to Disney World and on a Disney cruise to the Bahamas. I recommend this to everyone! Boy did we have a blast! We are wearing these goofy hats and our homemade honeymoon pins. They have Winnie the Pooh doing a handstand on the moon with a “hunny” pot and state “I am on my hunnymoon!” They got us a lot of congratulations and free desserts!

I got the idea to write a preconception diary from www.preconception.com. I have been reading their diaries for YEARS. So much so that I have seen a writer or two through their SECOND babies!! Someday, maybe, my child will be interested in seeing how s/he came into the world. I would also love to start a friendship or two with someone who is going through some of the same stuff I am. I hope you will join us on our journey to babyhood!
Sincerely,
Jen