I am on CD#21 today. I had dry CM today, so hopefully this cycle will end a bit early and I can get the Clomid show on the road! This cycle is SO different from the last one. No EW this time, but lots and lots last month. I think my estrogen producing organs took a vacation.
I got my Medela Pump in Style breast pump in the mail yesterday. A great deal from Ebay! In the same deal I got a boppy nursing pillow, 20 breastmilk storage bags and a wedge pillow for sleeping on when you are PG. All this for $165!! The pump alone sells for $249 at least!
I also got ten 6 oz. Playtex Ventaire bottles for $14. These are about $3.50 each on sale. Funny enough, they all had purple bottoms and tops. So I went to Babies R Us with a coupon and bought six 9 oz. bottles of the same type to complete my set. I sure didn’t buy any more purple ones! 2 red, 2 yellow, and 2 blue. These should be all I need. I plan to breastfeed until my baby gets pretty good drinking with a sippy cup, somewhere between 9 months and 1 year. I bought this many bottles because I am not very confident of my public nursing skills. I am a pretty private person. So I bought a great pump and will use bottles when I am not at home or when I can convince my DH at 2 am!!
I think I will curtail my baby spending from now on until I actually get PG. I am a bit embarrassed by how much I have now. I just can’t pass on a good deal! :o) I am SO ready for AF! I really hope this isn’t one of my infamous 45 day cycles.

I have the funniest story to share about the Baby Expo we went to yesterday. It was a lot of fun but I felt like such a FAKE just being there next to all those big bellies! Well, after visiting all the booths and getting free stuff like cans of formula and pacifiers, DH and I sat down to watch the pickles and ice cream contest. My favorite radio station sent one of their DJs up to work the contest and the first thing she says is that they need 6 MOMS up there for the contest and she points right to me and says loudly into her microphone for me to come up. I was embarrassed, but went anyway. So I was in the contest! Boy my DH wished he had a camera!
So they give each of us a FROZEN SOLID 1/2 gallon of vanilla ice cream and a whole jar of baby dills. She says to put 5 pickles in with our ice cream and the only rule is that we have to eat some of both. She starts us off on our two minutes and off we go! Well, I am no dummy. The ice cream was too hard and too cold to eat quickly, so I take a few required bites and move to the pickles within 15 seconds. I then proceed to eat the ENTIRE jar of pickles! I had one baby pickle left over that I couldn’t manage to fish out in time. And when they judged the winner… I HAD WON!!! A year’s supply of the very best ice cream in San Antonio- Creamy Creations from HEB. WOW! But I SO felt like a fake, not being PG and all… not that they knew or anything… and burped pickle for the rest of the day! Yuck! The scariest thing about it all? Pickles and ice cream aren’t so bad together!! :o)
I was kind of weepy today. I had to deal with some hard criticism at work today that didn’t mix well with my doctor’s appointment news from Friday. But I got over it by the afternoon, probably because the weather was GORGEOUS and Sam and I played at the park.
I had a temp spike two days ago and a high temp yesterday too. I wonder what was up?! I know I did not O because I haven’t had any EWCM yet and my Fertility Monitor still says low, low, low. I am glad I look at others indicators (CM, FM) because my temp was back to normal this morning and I would have been REALLY upset if I had lost what I thought was an O. But since I now know my chances are about nil that I will O in any given month on my own, it didn’t bother me at all. I am just playing it cool and biding my time until next month when I can try out Clomid. About the Clomid- I have read that it makes 80% of those who don’t O ovulate, but only 40% will get PG. I wonder why such a big difference?

Today was a difficult day. I found out I have PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Basically, my ovaries make lots and lots of follicles, but no one or two grow big enough to be ovulated. And then they hang around for awhile and later just fizzle out. So my ovaries look clumpy instead of smooth. It is caused by hormonal imbalances and too much of the male hormones. I was prescribed 50 mg Clomid for next cycle on days 5 through 9. I hope the days pass quickly. Then I need to return and see her for progesterone testing between days 22 and 24. All my efforts in the last six months (yes, it has been 6 months) have been for nothing. You can’t have a baby if you don’t ovulate.
Dr. Gallagher was pretty optimistic, though. She seems to think the Clomid will do the trick and I will be PG in the next cycle or two. But apparently PCOS goes beyond TTCing. I will have to take birth control pills or other medications to control it for the rest of my life. Some research I read says PCOS causes a person to become overweight too. Looking back, the only time I was successful in losing a significant amount of weight was when I was on BCP.
Oh yeah, if I don’t get PG in the next 3 cycles, she wants DH to get a semen analysis. He will just love that! :o)
I feel like I basically have no shot at getting PG this cycle. But I feel really good about my chances in the next several months. I felt really bummed when I first heard the diagnosis, but I feel pretty good now because now I know what the holdup was and I can treat it.
Perhaps a PG announcement would make a good Christmas present!

Today is my 10th day on cycle number 6. I am finally down to just spotting. AF was a long-winded wench this month! My fertility monitor seems to be doing its job. I can’t wait to see a HIGH day and then a PEAK day!! That will be something to report about! I am not too optimistic about this cycle. I just don’t feel like I can get pg without some form of aid. But others have thought this too and turned up pg, so I am not giving up on this cycle until it is over. I am just not that hopeful. Make sense?!
My doctor appointment is Friday. I am getting nervous all over again. I sure hope she is as understanding as she was when I met her more than a year ago. I have one “for sure” no O cycle under my belt. That should make me a good candidate for Clomid, right? Let’s hope that is all I need.
I am starting to rake in more baby stuff from Ebay. I have a hidden cassette player that attaches to the crib rail ($1 plus S&H) and another shipment of onesies (12 this time; $8.50 total, I think). I am waiting on a Medela Pump in Style too. The Grand Poobah of pumps, so I am told. Should be here any day now. Oh yeah, and some cute maternity short and shirt sets and 2 pairs of denim overalls, one being shortalls. All great deals.
I think I have decided that we need a glider in the nursery and a rocking recliner in the living room. One for private nursing and comforting and one for when I want to watch tv or be with Darrell. A little greedy of me, but I think I deserve it. Wink!
I think I have decided to try cloth diapers. Gasp! The dollar savings is astronomical and with the invention of AIOs (All-In-Ones), the diapering is just as easy. Of the pretty extensive research I have done, Fuzzi Bunz brand seems to be among the best. They are made of soft fleece that wicks away moisture from the baby’s bottom. You are supposed to not have to change wet diapers as often and they are great for overnights too. They are cute with sets of snaps for proper sizing. You can even get colors and prints. They are supposed to be stain resistant too. I am sure I will still use many disposables, but having 6 or 8 of these around may cut down our diaper bill somewhat with a minimum of fuss. My only hesitation is about laundering them. If it takes more work than people have said, forget it. I guess we’ll try some out and see.

I’m on cycle #6 now and day #3. The fertility monitor doesn’t do much. For as much as I spent for it, I wish it would say something. Or at least have a few more buttons to push.
I am bidding on a Medela Pump in Style on Ebay right now, along with some cute maternity clothes—including denim shortalls. I figure I am going to be too embarrassed to nurse in public too much, so I should get the best pump I can find, but gently used to save on cost. I shudder when I think that one day I will have to put both my breasts into this electronic sucking monster.
Tomorrow we leave for Louisiana. It will be fun to get away. Life has taken too serious of a tone since yesterday, when the Pentagon and the World Trade Center were crashed into by hijacked airplanes full of our own people. The worst acts of terrorism the world has ever seen… that’s what they are calling it. “Attack on America.” It sure puts my TTC worries into perspective.
I cannot wait for this cycle to be over so I can get Clomid. I truly believe that that is what it is going to take. Sad that I am not giving this cycle the hope and expectancy that I gave the others. Part of me says that my body is telling me that I am just too overweight. The other half says that I can take good care of myself and pregnancy and my baby will be just fine.
I am in a somber mood. I yearn for a LB so badly… it has taken SO long.

On the TTC front, NOTHING is happening. No spike in temperature. I have had EWCM 10 out of the last 11 days. Yikes! I am just waiting for this cycle to end so I can get on with cycle #6. I hope I at least occasionally ovulate! I know I had the prolonged EW last cycle too.
Here is my first Temp Chart so far:

I had a dr. appointment scheduled for today but she called in sick. I was really hoping she would prescribe Clomid for next cycle. Unfortunately, by the time I see her again, two weeks from now, I will have already started my next cycle. So if I get the Clomid then, I’ll have to wait until the beginning of the following cycle (#7) to take it. Seems so far away, when it could have been just a couple of days from now. I wonder if she prescribes it for days 3-7 or 5-9. Seems to be by doctor’s preference. Considering my long cycles, I am guessing 5-9 is best for me. Hmm… unless it shortens cycles! That would be great!
This is my obsessive Notes Page I had planned on bringing with me:
Previous cycles:
39, 35, 34, 40, 30, 36, 49, 24 days.
Started checking CM thoroughly last cycle. Both last cycle and this cycle I have had prolonged phases (8 days off and on last cycle, 10+ this cycle) of eggwhite CM. I made note of a couple of instances where this is mentioned in TCOYF:
1. Excessive production of estrogen (seems reasonable because it can be caused by being overweight)- also delayed ovulation and irregular cycles; pg. 154.
2. Hypothyroidism (seems reasonable since 2 doctors have suggested this to me. Is there a better test?) – also low waking temperatures, unusually long cycles, anovulatory cycles (with no thermal shift), heavy menses (used to have, not so much anymore- what would cause this to change?) and unexplained infertility; pg. 269. Not listed in the book but is also supposed to be a symptom- fatigue.
Notes:
1. Excessive days of EWCM.
2. My periods are 7 to 10 days when you include spotting.
3. Probably 50% of the time I have bothersome pain during O time. Seems to be worse in the summer.
4. Maybe 2 out of 5 cycles I have mid-cycle spotting.
5. My flow has changed from being heavy to medium/light. I haven’t had a heavy period in at least 8 months.
6. History of low body temperatures and being cool to other people.
7. I still get acne on and off.
8. Overweight since childhood.
9. Cycles vary wildly in number of days from about 29 to 49 days with the occasional super oddball.
10. When I took the BCP for 2 years (5 or 6 years ago) it caused me severe jaw pain (TMJ) that went 95% away after I stopped taking them. I still get a bit of pain or popping once in awhile. My last several cycles would not be brought on by the ending of that month’s pills. Ortho-Cyclen.
11. Thyroid levels checked twice in the last 2 ½ years. Normal both times.
12. Last year I was checked for an ovarian cyst- also normal.
13. I began taking my basal body temperature this cycle (see copy). No thermal shift so far by day 24 (or it just doesn’t remain high).
Questions:
1. How normal were my thyroid results last year? Borderline, good?
2. On my U/S, I know a cyst wasn’t found, but did everything else look normal?
3. How large of a part does excessive weight play in not getting PG?
4. Do you think I ovulate at all?
5. Do you think Clomid would help me?
I bought a Clear Plan Fertility Monitor off of Ebay the other day. $165 total- comes with test sticks too. To buy it new it would have cost $179.99 plus S &H. I congratulated the seller on her new PG and she responded by shipping the monitor UPS 2 day air for free. How is that for nice?! :o) It should get here today!!!
I also got a BeBe Sounds monitor for only $15 total. That saved me at least $10. I’ve thought these were SO cool the first time I saw one in a catalog! I told one of the girls on my boards that I couldn’t wait to hear Darrell digest something. :o)
Darrell told me yesterday that his new coworker, Sean’s wife is pregnant. They just found out. Apparently they have been trying for some time and she was on Clomid. She is my age too. Would have been nice to be PG together.